I've had a Rough Day

I've had a rough day.

My mom, aunt, and I sorted out my grandpa's clothes. Some of them went to Goodwill, some of them went in the garbage, and some of them were kept. It was difficult. My mom and I got in a fight. Typical of our relationship.

I have killer cramps and I'm freezing cold.

I did laundry all the live long day.

My step children do not listen to me. However, that one has been resolved for the moment.

I've had it with lazy, inconsiderate, rotten, dipshits.

I've taken to my bed. Kurt can deal with it. He's the only thing about today that isn't awful.

This and That

I've started studying for the NAB exam. I'm taking an online review thru DMACC. Now that I've finally been able to log in, I know why it was only $50. It's 173 (of I believe a bank of 20,000) possible questions presented in seven different formats. Of course, some of the answers are "none of the above" or "a and b" when there aren't any choices provided. Also sometimes they want 4 or IV or four. There appears to be no pattern to it either. Still, I think the game/flashcard/quiz format will be effect. I will at least have 173 of the answers memorized. Oh wait, some of the questions are presented twice with different answers. Nice.

We got a Phillips ipod docking station/speaker system yesterday (on the front of the target ad). I really really like it. It's causing me to watch less TV which is a good thing.

The lifestyle change is going ok even though there was a chocolate zinger incident the other day. Weigh-in is in two days.

My diploma arrived to day. I stuck it in my diploma cover. Now what shall I do with it? I got a transcript, too. My overall GPA was 3.21. I ordered two more study texts. The two new ones will bring my total to 7 + the study class. I need to review my medical terminologies too.

We bought a recumbent bike today. It's still in the box in the kitchen because I sidetracked Kurt when he was in the basement. We've now liberated 6 rubber maids (although 2 of them were refilled). I have a load to take to Good Will and the garbage can is filled to capacity as are the recycling bins.

Can you believe it?

My husband has never had beanie weenies! He didn't know what they were. I'm STARVING to death at the moment. Good thing it's still snowing and I'm in my nightie, or I would be in the truck on my way to Mickey D's for a quarter pounder with cheese.

I was expressing to Kurt how very very hungry I am. I grabbed the neck of his shirt to emphasis my point and pull him toward me - and I ripped his shirt! I told him I was hungry.

I've decided to go with beanie weenies. The beans are good...the weenies are bad so it should all even out right?

Celebrity Siting - I Guess

Kurt's at work so I went down to the casino (they have free pop). There's all kind of security guards everywhere. I thought I heard people talking about some football player going by. I get to the lobby and there's a rope line. People are standing there with all sorts of Packer items. I walk past. I ask a guard "Is there a football player here?" He replies, "A few."

I play the 25 cent and 2 cent slots for a while. I put in $5 and won $10. I came "home" with $9. Gambling is really not my thing and it was really smokey.

I go back to the room. There is even more security. The guard I spoke to before opens the door for a bunch of guys in suits. Then a very tall guy in a sweat suit comes out along with a littler dude. One of them handed me something (he must be a Jehovah's witness)(it looked like one of their brochures). The both looked at me, shook my hand and headed up the hall. All kinds of flashed were going off. I heard one of them call the taller one KBG.

I looked them up. The first one was DE KABEER GBAJA-BIAMILA #94 and the shorter one was Aaron Rodgers

Evidently the Packers stay here the night before a home game. I'm watching the news and they're interviewing some of the players. The footage is from inside the hotel.

Greetings from the Tundra

So I've come to Green Bay with Kurt. Tomorrow is the NFC game with Green Bay and (I think) the NY Giants. We drove by Lambeau Field tonite since he has a horrible sense of direction. People around here are in a green and yellow frenzy. It is -4 degrees with a -30 wind chill. The game is at 6 pm tomorrow. They are going to freeze to death. I asked the clerk in the gift shop how people are going to keep from freezing to death. He said, "Oh they aren't. You just wrap everything up except for a tiny slit for your eyes."

We had dinner at Old Chicago. I've never been there before. It was yum yum yummy. We had a thin pizza with Canadian bacon, pineapple and basil.

The hotel has a casino in it. After breakfast this morning we checked it out. There was a Deal or no Deal video machine. After waiting for eons for a change person we just stuck a 20 in. It was a 2 cent machine. We had no idea what we were doing. After 3 bets we'd lost $17. We were bickering about it and then made one more bet. We were sure but we thought we'd won. We walked away with $52.50!

Last night and this morning we went out to Door county. I'll have pictures once we get home.

Done!

I got done with my internship yesterday at 3:30 pm!!!

The last meal

Tomorrow starts the lifestyle change so Rikki, Amy and I went out for a last meal. We went to Road House and pigged out!! I had sirloin and ribs with a baked potato (butter and sour cream) and green beans with bacon and onions. YUM!!! We also had the honey bun things and a blooming onion or whatever they call it. Oh yeah, don't forget the beers! I had a brownie when I get home. Tomorrow is weigh in!

My parents, husband, aunt, sister, Rikki, Amy, Marn's friend Diane and I make up our team. There are over 12,000 people registered state-wide. I think I'm actually motivated this time!

Time waits for No one

My grandpa passed away tonight. I was on my way to see him when the nurse called and said she thought the end was near. I asked if my mom and my aunt were there. She said she would check with the nurse in the room and call me right back. She called back with in 2 or 3 minutes. She said my mom was not there and "I'm pretty sure he's gone." I was 8 minutes away. I wanted to be there with him. When I left this morning I didn't think that would be the last time I would see him. I was going to be there tonight to try and get him to eat supper. My aunt was with him and so was a nurse I liked. I'm glad he wasn't alone. I'm glad he isn't in anymore pain. I'm glad he didn't linger on. I just wish he could have waited another 10 minutes.

A Tough Decision

We decided it was best to put my grandpa on morphine today. He's getting 10mg every 2 hours. They started at 10 am. I then left (just as the social workers came in to counsel me) and went to work. I only have 18.5 hours of internship left to complete. I called my sister so she could come up and see Grandpa while he still has some semblance of himself since the drug will depress all of his systems. She, my brother-in-law and nephew came this afternoon. Marn thought Grandpa looked awful. AJ and I commented how much better he was with the morphine. He was smiling at Ryan and would give more than one or two word answers.

Right now I'm trying to get to the home in time to help him with breakfast if necessary. He'd eaten 100%, was in the dining room, and was feeding himself when I got there this morning. I usually go back around 5 pm so I can relieve my aunt and then feed him supper. We got him to eat all of his sandwich filling and two things of applesauce for dinner. I am tired.

Back from the Caucus

What a clusterfuck. Seriously. My sister just called. It was a cluster at her precinct too. We can't even count to 37. How in the hell are we supposed to elect a president when we can't even agree on how to count to 37? This is seriously the stupidest in which I have ever participated. I'm glad I went but if someone else wants to be first in the nation it's fine with me.

There were way more people at the Middle school than I expected. There were more cars/people than for a sports or musical event. We had 99 people in our precinct. I thought the Obama chick was going to cry. I'm sure she'll declare fraud with the numbers. It ended up 4 delegates for Hillary, 4 for Edwards and 2 for Obama. The delegates are based on the number of people each candidate had once we were aligned by group. I see they're saying Obama is the winner which probably means he won't be the candidate because the people who win Iowa seldom are.

Brrrrrr!

It is FREEZING here! Despite the frigidity the politicos are still out and about - both Hillarians and Obamians stopped by. Tomorrow night are the caucuses - we're planning on going, but we still don't know for whom. The way the caucus is run it would be a lot shorter to be a Republican (that's the only reason I can think of though!)

The kids are back. I can't get warm. We have a new faucet in the bathroom. We had the care conference for my grandpa today. The home isn't doing very well in keeping his medications straight. The conference was very frustrating for me because where I'm doing my internship is very well run and they know all the residents very, very well.

I got a George Bush a day isms calendar for Christmas. Only 385 days til he is gone!

A Hot Date

Since Kurt has been gone since Thursday afternoon we made a lunch date. He had to come back this way to the office and I needed to go his way to check on my cows. (I'm keeping the cows I got for Christmas)(I'm happy with them btw).

He suggested lunch at Perkins, probably because he wanted pie. I agreed but then got a hankering for Mexican. We had a late lunch at Hacienda. Very yummy. I had lunch Chicken Fajitas and he had a beef taco and a chicken quesadilla. We both had rice and beans.

Then I went to the office with him and watched him install a part in one of the multitudes of data cabinets. Wires everywhere. I have no idea how he can make sense of any of it.

I stopped at the mall and used my gift card. They were having 50 -70% off sales. It is the only decent sale that I've seen anywhere. I got four body creams, two body sprays, one big and one travel size shower gels, and two glycerin soaps. All of it for $29.95! I'm set for a good long while.

I took Francis to get his stitches out this morning. It was a forty minute drive each way and approximately 7 seconds to take out the sutures. I should have done it myself. He is fine and without a scar.

F***ING ANNOYING

So far today, Hillary has called, Joe Biden has called, Obama has called. I got mail from all three of them as well as Edwards. Hillary and Obama people have both stopped by.

I think of the rest of the nation knew how much of this BS there is to deal with (it's been over a year I think) there's NO WAY they would want to be first in the nation.

Bill Clinton is nearby today. Chris Dodd has invited me to dinner in Waterloo.

Please please let January 3 get here!!

And We're Back!

Much like MacArthur we have returned! We got back for MN late this afternoon. Within forty-five minutes I was childless and husband-less. The former makes me happy the latter not so much. Kurt delayed work before Christmas so now he'll be gone until Sunday afternoon.

Our trip to MN was good. The truck is soooo much better than us all being stuffed in the Impala. Francis still hates riding in a vehicle. On the way back today though he was relaxed and snoozing. Probably because he was exhausted from playing with his "cousin" dogs, Sparky and Bandit, and youngest nephew, Ethan. Francis is currently passed out on the bed amidst Christmas presents. It was a very good Christmas. My husband is a very sweet and thoughtful man even though I am terrible at controlling my expressions. He got me a painting that I've been obsessing about since last summer. However, it's not the one I wanted. I really really like it though. I feel like crap for being ungrateful...or unpleased (is that a word?)He says I can check and see if the gallery still has the one I want. He says they looked all over and he's pretty sure it wasn't there.

With my single days ahead I hope to get some cleaning and organizing done. My scrapbook table is a disaster and it makes the entire kitchen look like ca-ca.

Christmas Wishes

Christmas Wishes have been fulfilled around here! The kids were up at 5:20 waiting for us to get up! We started opening around 7:45. Nick likes to pile the presents by name under the tree. It irritates me to no end, so this year instead of name tags I assigned them each a number. Then I realized that he could stack by number so I then assigned each kid a random number. It worked out pretty well. They are good a guessing what their gifts are too. Next year I think no presents will appear under the tree until Christmas morning.

We had our traditional oyster stew (and chili) on Christmas Eve at the farm. We've done this every year of my life. It's always been on Christmas Eve except for the year Marnie and Todd lived in Ohio. However, this year is the last year for that. Marnie and Todd want Ryan to wake up in his own house on Christmas morning. Also, Grandpa wasn't there. This is probably our last Christmas with him. I guess I have to accept change however hard it is.

We'll go back to the farm for Christmas dinner. Marnie and I are both bringing lots of food to help Mom out. We'll play BINGO after lunch for dollar store prizes. Then later in the afternoon we'll head to Rochester for Kurt's family Christmas.

Here's hoping all the best for you and yours. Merry Christmas Everyone!

No idea what to call this

i made chex mix (for the first time ever) last night. I'm doing two more batches now. It's misty/drizzly outside currently. We're waiting to see what the weather is going to do. The kids want to go shopping, I won't them to get some decent dress up clothes, and Kurt has to work in Davenport tonight. I am NOT excited about that. Last I heard tonight is supposed to be blizzard conditions.

UN - BELIEVABLE

I got a B in my biology lab! My grade point for this semester is 3.91!! SO I am OFFICIALLY a graduate of UNI. I got my diploma cover last saturday and now I can wait for the actual diploma to arrive (as soon as I finish my internship). I have less than 100 hours left.

Whew!

Lonely

Took the pooper to the vet to get neutered this morning. I really miss him (although it's been WONDERFUL not having to stand outside with him). I can pick him up tomorrow, bring him home, and then turn around and drive back to work.

Speaking of which - I only have office practicums left to do. I have around 120 hours to finish it. This week I'm conducting Medicare Part D sessions with our residents. So far no one has signed up, but tomorrow and wednesday I have short info/sign up sessions scheduled.

On Saturday I graduated with my BA in Gerontology with an emphasis in long term care. I'm glad I walked. It was pretty cool to see all the robes, hear the orchestra, etc. However, everyone forgot to bring a camera so the only pictures I will have will be the ones I can buy. Oh well. Lots of celebrating was done. I had a family dinner at Biaggis. Then on Saturday we ate at Red Lobster afterward and that evening had dinner with friends then drinks with other friends. It was nice.

My grandpa is in the hospital in the Hospice room. He seems to be doing better, but is still sleeping almost constantly. It's very difficult to see him there. Especially since he's in the room where my grandma died. I think they may have redecorated though. The strangest things will make me cry. I'm glad that I am close enough that I can go and see him everyday.

I'm watching VH-1's greatest songs of the 90's. It's reminding me of songs I'd like on my Ipod!

A Double Doozie

We're having a bit of a snowstorm. After work I drove the truck to Grandpa's to check on him and to deliver some homemade ham & bean soup as well as vegetable beef. Part way there I knew I'd made a huge mistake driving the truck. It's too big for me to be comfortable with it in snow and ice despite the 4 wheel drive. Kurt had to come and rescue me.

I got to Grandpa's right after Hospice had left. He's all signed up with them. He was very nauseous when I first arrived, but later managed to eat (and hold down) some bean soup and some Jell-o.

The second thing was that my grandpa's younger brother (who is 91) and also lives independently had fallen 2x yesterday. He has a heart thing that causes him to faint. This is the third or fourth fall recently. His hip is bothering him but they can't find a break in it. He is now in the hospital and has checked himself into a nursing facility. Uncle Melvin very upset about my grandpa which isn't helping. Plus their younger sister, Aunt Donna (who is in assisted living) is upset as well. Bad things happening to each of them just makes it a vicious circle. It's coming all at once. Yikes!

I knew this day would come...

My grandpa has been tired and losing weight. He and mom have been "doctoring" Grandpa has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and nodules on his lungs. Mom told me Friday night. I held it together while I was on the phone with her. The second I ended the call I freaked out and went into hysterics. I was crying so hard I was almost hyperventilating. Kurt was driving (this was after we'd been to Christmas with Wartburg Concert)(wonderful btw) and on our way to Perkins. It was all I could do to dial the Wonder Twin and hand the phone to Kurt. Luckily, I have a very wonderful, understanding, and non-jealous husband. In this case, Brian just knows me and the history better than Kurt. Brian was able to get me to breathe and get myself under control.

I went over to Grandpa's today. It was 4:15 in the afternoon and he was in bed asleep. I've NEVER seen him in bed during the day...EVER. I took him some home-made chicken noodle soup, potato soup and some ground chicken. My aunt from CA is here. I hope she can be a help.

I realize that I have been blessed to have my grandpa as long as I have. He will be 93 in March. He lives on his own on the farm and is mostly healthy and independent. He recovered from a broken hip last year and made it out of the nursing home and back to the farm. I can't imagine him not being a part of my life. He's always been there. Every Sunday I know he will be at my parents' house visiting. He's had a long wonderful life as Brian pointed out. It's just that I don't want him to be in pain and to suffer. My grandma died 20 years ago last October from cancer. I was almost 16. It was horrible horrible horrible. It's still vivid in my mind and heart.

Wednesday is the doctor appointment to decide what, if anything, to do. Grandpa always says the way to go is to just wake up dead one morning. Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen.