Missing Him

I woke up thinking about how much I miss my Grandpa. He's been gone just over 3 years now. It doesn't seem like it can be that long yet it seems like an eternity since I've seen him. I still hear his voice in my ear though.

Gpa always had a joke and a smile. Many times I'll hear a piece of news and think, "I wonder what Gpa will think of this!" Many more times I"ll be trying to figure something out, where someone lived or how someone is related and I'll go to the phone to call him and remember he's not there to answer.

I'm really sad that Gramp never got to meet my son. I doubt he would have understood all the intricacies of adoption - the heartache, the cost, the joy, and the loss - but he would have delighted in his second great-grandson.

I was very, very fortunate to have my Grandpa for almost 93 years. I do realize that is very rare and most people don't get to experience such a thing.

My Grandpa was an awesome maker of peanut brittle. My sister has carried on that tradition. It's not something I can bring myself to do.

He and my Grandma were married for 50 years before she succumbed to cancer. He lived another 23 years without her. One time he was asked if he would ever marry again (like several of the other old guys in the community). His reply was, "why would you ever want to go through that (seeing someone you love die) again?"

After Grandma first died he'd bring little debbies to all the family dinners and functions. As time went on he became quite the baker! He was well known for his treats, candies, and cookies. He loved to take them to friends and family.

Grandpa and Grandma mowed and maintained the local township cemetery where Gramp was a trustee (like his father before him). Once Grandma was gone my sister and I helped him mow and he'd give us the money to spend at Christmas time.

When we were little we'd spend days at a time with Grandpa and Grandma. Grandpa would fall asleep in his chair and we'd call him on it. He'd say, "I was just resting my eyes".

Gramp had a blue Chevy truck we'd go bumping around the country in. When we moved to the farm from Knoxville I remember Grandpa making a wrong turn and me getting him headed in the right direction. I was 7.

When we'd go to Waterloo he'd always stop and get us an ice cream at the Dairy Cone.

When my sister graduated from college it was hotter than hell in the gym. Gpa had unbuttoned his collar and had his clip on tie clipped on his shirt pocket! Grandpa got sick right when I graduated from college so it didn't really register with him.

Grandpa was an old guy born in 1915 so he did have certain opinions about certain things but those opinions could change. My best friend is a gay man. Grandpa knew. He said he didn't understand but Brian was a good man. The only thing he needed to change was to "get a damn haircut!"

I just miss him. He was flawed and could be hard - but aren't we all? He was such a big part of my life for my WHOLE life. I still find it hard to believe/remember that he's gone.

None baby stuff

(Well, I'm sure he'll sneak his way in somehow!)

We had a lovely Christmas. I made the kids and dog pose nicely before the present opening occured. Everyone was quite happy with what Santa brought them. Heath is growing so quickly that things that had been purchased and wrapped 2 weeks prior had to be exchanged!

We took Ryan sledding up at the school. There was a little "mogul" built into the main run. He had a blast!

We've had A LOT of freaking snow! At least it was light and fluffy (and the wind didn't blow).

There's a fire hydrant in there somewhere!

Nicky got his ACT scores back. We're VERY proud of him!

3 Months old!

My how he's growing! He's unoffically 18.5# and 25 inches long. He's my little chubba lubba.