I Know it's Wrong, but.....

I go to a state university. Ever since the Virginia Tech Massacre I've been disturbed. The next day when I got to class, you could see it on everyones' faces. We were all checking to see if the doors locked from the inside, the outside, or even if they locked at all. Most of my classes have the uncomfortable chairs with a desk attached (no protection). In the newer and remodeled buildings there are desks/tables but they are a long row, bolted down, and there would be no way to turn them over.

The thing that I know is wrong is that I am finding myself suspicious of/wary of the few Asian students on campus. I don't mean to feel that way. I hope they can't see it in my face or body language, but it's there. An Asian male student came running down the stairs from the 3rd floor. He was taking them two at a time. I felt myself blanch and my stomach fall. I'm ashamed that I am reacting in this manner. I'm trying to get over it and think about what my real issue is.

I think some of it is stemming from NBC and the showing of the photographs and the video. The picture where the viewer is staring down the barrel of the gun if very powerful. When I watched the Sopranos Sunday night I was incredibly bothered by/uncomfortable with the rage that was coming from the Asian kid Junior was using as an underling.

I do realize that the killer's rampage has nothing to do with his ethnicity, but merely the manifested evil of his mind and soul. Unfortunately, evil (this week and last) has an Asian face.